Age 15. Hair Brown. Life Purpose:Unknown. It was 5 years ago, when the life I have now, kicked to an adventurous start. Don't get me wrong, I had a life before that was great, but the events that happened in the last five years, shaped me into the person I am today. I will begin the story, where my life practically began. It all started when I met Mayli. We instantly clicked. Inseparable.(but that has a chapter or two of its own.) .....to be continued.
I've been realizing why make things into something they're not? Lets just live life happily. I've been so good and happy these past few months. I dont want "little" things to get in the way. We're all adults, and we should be able to talk about things like adults. We're all "FRIENDS!!!" too. Silly things shouldn't matter :) We have each others backs! NO WORRIES! I can see how being insecure makes people act crazy. I've seen it in myself, and i believe that I'm getting better. I still have my crazy moments, but at least Im tryin reaaaalll hard. I don't want friendships to be lost. We all need each other in the end. Lets just forget these "little" things that happen, and just move on. I just want a positive life. As fergie would say "We dont need no drama, drama." Words are words, but I know we don't necessarily mean them. In the moment, sometimes we say things that are harsher then we thought. Let us just rejoice! haha Rejoice, because Christmas is on its way... thats something to be happy about, right?
LIFE.
I love all of my friends. SOOOOO MUCH! & I know that we all LOVE each other. We're sisters. Sisters fight, but eventually we'll make up.
JUST SAYIN!
makes sense to me. doesnt rhyme. but who says rhyming matters?
11:21 PM
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Posted by
Arielle Aimee
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This is unedited... just written at 1 o clock in the morn. Dont JUDGE!!hah
I have seen a different color scheme.
and I knew i felt it.
When you walked right into my dream.
Sat by my side and told me the words
I've been dying to hear.
Maybe this time I'll let go
and tell you the rhyme in my heart
thats been beating to get out.
Years will soon turn to days,
and when the time catches up
to my reality, I'll be ready to
take out my net and grab hold of it.
I'll just make sure that this time,
I won't let go.
I'll never know unless I try.
This feeling is what I live by.
Cause the time is just around the corner
reaching you, is my destination.
& im willing to drive forever.
Behavior Symptoms
Crying-*
Social Withdrawel-*
Psychomotor retardation (slow movements)
Clinging Behavior-*
Agitation/fidgeting-*
Affective (Emotional) Symtoms
Sadness-*
Irratability-*
Anxiety-*
Guilt-
variation in moods (mood swings)-*
Loss of interest in normally enjoyed activities
Fear-*
Cognitive (Mental) Health
Helplessness
Worthlessness-*
Indecision
Self Blame
Negative self-concept-*
Negative anticipation-*
Thoughts of death or suicide
Somatic (Physical) symptoms
Sleep Disorders-*
Menstrual irregularity-*
Weight loss/Weight Gain-*
Sexual disorders
Weakness
Easy fatiguability
Pain
The symptoms with the * by them I suffered from. I am glad to know that I am not CRAZY and making these things up. I know no one reads this blog, so basically its like Im writing to myself. I hated my life during that time. I felt like a worthless peice of crap. I felt I was losing everyone I cared about, and losing the feeling that people cared about me. The sad thing is, my family doesnt even know I went through this. My mom thinks I'm a failure for other reasons. She doesnt even have a clue that I was depressed.
All I can say is that I'm glad I'm moving on.
Its been so easy for me to be friendly on my rexburg trip. Things came so much easier. I can see a total change from last fall, to this fall.
The OLD days are OVER. The NEW days are IN!
I can see that things are changing, and I LIKE it.
I have a job.
I have a school I like.
I have a BEST FRIEND.
I have a camera.
I have a FAMILY.
I have a GOD.
I have a LIIIIIFEEEE!!
Hey,
how about you just let that wall break down. Im tired of not knowing what your thinking. I'm tired of having to guess. Im tired of not feeling "good" enough.
I need to know that you care. I NEED to know that you miss me. I NEED to know that I have someone. You put up this wall that you feel you have to protect yourself, but in the end your fooling yourself. Your locking it up inside and hiding yourself from the world. You run away from your problems and don't face the facts.
I need to let go of the things that are holding me back and just move onto the future. I want to be freed from these feelings.
I wish I could tell you all the things I feel. Yet, I know you won't listen. Why even try.
I dont know why, but I like it. For certain people in this world, I fall so badly for... and only a few guy have made me feel like that. I dont know whats my problem some days. I try to force myself to feel like that for other people, but it just ends up with nothing. I want that feeling to come back into my life. I want to feel that excitement, mixed with the color in my cheeks to drown me. I felt like fainting. I'm not even exaterating, and I know i do that often. Its like my heart would go crazy, and I would lose all sense of control. It practically was a natural high, or maybe a natural heart attack!.... blah.
Labels: falling in love crazy feelings butterflies heart thuddingNo one is cooler than anyone. I hate that people have attitudes (Spencer Pratt, and others) and they think they are cooler than everyone. People are different, and they are unique in their own ways. Just because you wear certain clothes, or have a lot of money, or listen to a certain type of music, doesnt make you cooler. I know sometimes I think that I'm cool, but in reality I'm just different... or the same. We are all people, and I hate that sometimes I judge people just because of the music they listen to, or what they're wearing. It ENDS today. I want to give EVERYONE a chance, and not be cocky in myself. I want to be a people person and love everyone for who they are, not what they have, or what they choose to listen to, watch, or just things that they do in general. !!!!!!!!!!!!! So, from this point on EVERYONE is my friend. I'm not going to speak about them badly or anything unless they do 100 things to betray me. I dont need to have that negativity in my life. Its POINTLESS.
All you need is LOVE.
Ahhh. The feeling of brand new, never worn before, freshly cleaned clothes. Whats a better feeling? (There are many, but for this blog purpose, NONE!) I've decided, or perhaps, come to the conclusion that new clothes make me feel wonderful. Its almost a type of therapy for me. I got new clothes a few weeks ago, and I just feel so much "cooler, prettier, and confident" I really have no idea why new clothing gives me this feeling, but I LIKE it. I just feel nice walking around in something that I really like and is different from what other people are wearing. These are some of the upcoming fashions that I would love to be wearing during the fall. I guess you could say this is a fashion blog today.
I LOVE me some fashion :)
Cardigans are a must have this season for me. It seems that all of my dresses tend to be sleevless or just tank topish... so what I do is cover up my bare shoulders with a cardigan! It takes a more fancier dress and makes it into a more casual outfit. It also makes it look more rocker/Indie, in my opinion. Its also great for the cold winter coming up!
This cardigan is so cute! I mean, it is a bit out there, but I love it. If they made this cardigan style in every solid color I would buy every single color! I love the long cardigans better than the short ones.
Cute Shirts!!
BOOTS! They keep your feet toasty warm, and are totally cute!
Another must have for the season is a nice and comfy winter coat. Cute, stylish, and classic.
Also leather jackets are in. I don't really like black on me that much, so I would much rather prefer the brown leather jacket.
Oh, how I would put this ring.
These hair pins are so adorable. I love having flowers in my hair, and so I think that these pieces are great. They're not too big, and not too small. They're just so cute and classy.
I also love brown purses too.
Dresses are always gorgeous. I think that the blue dress would look great with a grey cardigan and a brown belt.
I love the red POP in the 2nd dress.
This vest is so cute to me. Its a bit indian-ish. but thats what I like!
Skinny jeans are an obvious must.
I love these long necklaces. They're gorgeous to me.
belts.
Anyways. I LOVE FASHION.
And I love feeling cute and confident.
I am listening to the song "A Punk" by Vampire Weekend. I have no clue why my title is Hey punk. But whatevss.
I've been thinking lately. I am not as bad off as I thought. I AM getting better. & I am so happy. If you could have only seen me a year ago, you wouldn't know I was the same person.... unless you know me. But no one knows me fully, except Lord God himself! I think to myself, and look back on that time in my life, and thank God that I'm not like that anymore. No one really knew at the time what I was going through. It was this inner battle with myself. My self esteem was buried deep deep in the ground. I had a blindfold over my eyes covering me from the things I didnt want to admit was wrong with me. I am still not completely myself again. I still have my fears. (Fears that weren't bad in high school. I NEVER felt this way til college) It taught me life lessons. Of how my family really is the WORLD to me. I mean I know we have our problems. & sometimes I am dramatic about things that aren't even a big deal. But it taught me that family is EVERYTHING. I feel so comfortable at home. At college I could never truly feel comfortable. I had anxiety, nervous problems, depression and I dont even know. A Bit of the CRAZY BUG was in me. But that time in my life is coming to a close. Another door is opening and I am RUNNING in with a big smile on my face and a happy attitude. I am starting to see things I am wanting fall together. I am becoming the photographer I've wanted to become. YES, i have a lot to learn. & I LOVE that fact. I could learn this all day. Its actually FUN! I also have great great great great supporters in my life.
This girl helps me everyday. & I HOPE she realizes it. I'm seeing that I dont need to "depend" on her as much. but I'm still glad that she's in my life! I can't really imagine a time she wouldnt be in my life. We're going to be the wrinkly grandma's you see getting their nails done together. Actually. You'll probably see us in some concert... but we'll still be wrinkly grandma's. Oh, and we'll have our loves at our sides. And for that day, I can't wait!
AWWWWWWW LIFE!
simplicity. white shirt. jeans. water. smile. dimples. <3 <3
Here are some photos I shot for my little sister Emily. I think they turned out wonderful! I LOVE them. I hope you all enjoy!
MY FAVORITE!!!
it hurts. But then you remember that its nothing against you. Sometimes things just happen, and they're really no big deal. Just get over them, and remember that your worth more than 1000000 stars. You can do anything you want. & even if it hurts, your friends are still your friends. & they don't do things to "try" and hurt you. Thats why they're your friends :)
I love how I have found a career in the world that I am going to L-O L-O L-O L-O V-E. ( you thought I was saying lol, didn't you.) Going to classes like English, and Biology really has shown to me how much I dislike them. I can appreciate some of the writing aspects of English. But in biology I just die of boredom. Its just not a subject that interests me much.
On to the more positive aspects. I LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY. I can't get over how much I just soak up the information like a sponge soaks up water. I never can get bored in that class. Everything about it is just so fascinating. It makes me so sad seeing all of these people working jobs that they don't like, and they never went to college. For example my parents. I know my mom doesn't LOVE work, but she has to make some money somehow, so she sacrifices herself for our family. I just know that I NEVER want to be put in that situation. and I WONT!!!!
I've learned that sometimes YOU need to put in the effort. The world won't change itself. I need to put in the effort...
These pictures are from the first day I got my Nikon D 5000. BTW, which I am in LOVE with.
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