The Camera Speaks To me

Behavior Symptoms
Crying-*
Social Withdrawel-*
Psychomotor retardation (slow movements)
Clinging Behavior-*
Agitation/fidgeting-*

Affective (Emotional) Symtoms
Sadness-*
Irratability-*
Anxiety-*
Guilt-
variation in moods (mood swings)-*
Loss of interest in normally enjoyed activities
Fear-*

Cognitive (Mental) Health
Helplessness
Worthlessness-*
Indecision
Self Blame
Negative self-concept-*
Negative anticipation-*
Thoughts of death or suicide

Somatic (Physical) symptoms
Sleep Disorders-*
Menstrual irregularity-*
Weight loss/Weight Gain-*
Sexual disorders
Weakness
Easy fatiguability
Pain

The symptoms with the * by them I suffered from. I am glad to know that I am not CRAZY and making these things up. I know no one reads this blog, so basically its like Im writing to myself. I hated my life during that time. I felt like a worthless peice of crap. I felt I was losing everyone I cared about, and losing the feeling that people cared about me. The sad thing is, my family doesnt even know I went through this. My mom thinks I'm a failure for other reasons. She doesnt even have a clue that I was depressed.
All I can say is that I'm glad I'm moving on.
Its been so easy for me to be friendly on my rexburg trip. Things came so much easier. I can see a total change from last fall, to this fall.
The OLD days are OVER. The NEW days are IN!
I can see that things are changing, and I LIKE it.
I have a job.
I have a school I like.
I have a BEST FRIEND.
I have a camera.
I have a FAMILY.
I have a GOD.
I have a LIIIIIFEEEE!!