The Camera Speaks To me

I am listening to the song "A Punk" by Vampire Weekend. I have no clue why my title is Hey punk. But whatevss.
I've been thinking lately. I am not as bad off as I thought. I AM getting better. & I am so happy. If you could have only seen me a year ago, you wouldn't know I was the same person.... unless you know me. But no one knows me fully, except Lord God himself! I think to myself, and look back on that time in my life, and thank God that I'm not like that anymore. No one really knew at the time what I was going through. It was this inner battle with myself. My self esteem was buried deep deep in the ground. I had a blindfold over my eyes covering me from the things I didnt want to admit was wrong with me. I am still not completely myself again. I still have my fears. (Fears that weren't bad in high school. I NEVER felt this way til college) It taught me life lessons. Of how my family really is the WORLD to me. I mean I know we have our problems. & sometimes I am dramatic about things that aren't even a big deal. But it taught me that family is EVERYTHING. I feel so comfortable at home. At college I could never truly feel comfortable. I had anxiety, nervous problems, depression and I dont even know. A Bit of the CRAZY BUG was in me. But that time in my life is coming to a close. Another door is opening and I am RUNNING in with a big smile on my face and a happy attitude. I am starting to see things I am wanting fall together. I am becoming the photographer I've wanted to become. YES, i have a lot to learn. & I LOVE that fact. I could learn this all day. Its actually FUN! I also have great great great great supporters in my life.

This girl helps me everyday. & I HOPE she realizes it. I'm seeing that I dont need to "depend" on her as much. but I'm still glad that she's in my life! I can't really imagine a time she wouldnt be in my life. We're going to be the wrinkly grandma's you see getting their nails done together. Actually. You'll probably see us in some concert... but we'll still be wrinkly grandma's. Oh, and we'll have our loves at our sides. And for that day, I can't wait!


AWWWWWWW LIFE!